he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Text me some of your sweat
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
