Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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