you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
