the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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