Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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