I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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