i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Let's get the cat blown out
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
