you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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