...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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