I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
