someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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