It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
