The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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