So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
