i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
