You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
