I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
