So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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