i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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