STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
