Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
