Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
