TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
