they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
