i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
