so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
