i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
