If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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