In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Still dying that you shit outside
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
