Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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