How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
