I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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