I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
