Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
