Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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