dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
