and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
