The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
