Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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