I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
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