I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
