The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
