My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
