Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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