just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
