Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
