Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
