how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
