xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
