hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
